There is an increasing exasperation, a fear, a chill inside.
It is ..
as if the time is about to end. Grey is winning the war against black over me. Limbs are fighting to stay fit, not fighting fit. And my brain... is it going kaput?
Why is my thought so erratic, so random, why the sudden spaces of emptiness? Sometimes, I forget that the traffic signals have changed from red to green. And then, there is a cattleprod put on me, a taser on my emptiness of thought that says, accelerate you idiot..! the lights changed...
Lights....
Where are those wondorous lights of festivals, those moments of togetherness... didnt I belong to someone, wasnt there a womb that fed me, hands that nurtured me?
Alzeimers, says the trained part of the grey matter, finding those words, symptoms, applying correlations and regressions to the hypothesis.
Fear.. that sent a sharp synaptic pulse somewhere within. As excruciatingly delicious as a nude nymph under a cascade.
Was it fear in reality, what is the most potent weapon of that fear, tension? anxiety?
Why do we get anxious? Why in the world is the world so uncaring..?
